The harsh truth nobody tells new moms about breastfeeding

Hey there, new mama! 🌼 First off, congratulations on your beautiful journey into motherhood! Whether you’re glowing from the excitement or feeling a bit overwhelmed, know that you’re not alone. One of the most talked-about topics is breastfeeding, but let’s be real—there’s a lot of information out there, and some of it can feel a little… well, glossed over. So grab a cozy blanket, and let’s chat about the ins and outs of breastfeeding, including pumping and storage, that no one seems to mention!

Disclaimer: This is all written based on my personal experience, after 13 months of breastfeeding and 3 months of pumping/breastfeeding alternation. These are all things I learned the harsh way and I wish I had known this before I spent so much time and money and tears trying to figure it out, I really hope this gets to you at the right time so I can save you all the stress.

The Good: Why Breastfeeding Can Be Awesome

You probably have heard about all the benefits of breastfeeding, but just in case here are the main reasons I chose to breastfeed even though I almost gaveit up the 1st month.

Nutritional Powerhouse: Did you know that breast milk is like nature’s perfect food? It adapts to your baby’s needs, changing in composition as they grow. That means it’s packed with antibodies and nutrients that help keep your little one healthy.
Bonding Time: Breastfeeding is a beautiful opportunity to bond with your baby. The skin-to-skin contact can release oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone,” making those moments incredibly special, just make sure it is enjoyable for you and baby, get comfy, stay hydrated and get your snacks in hand becase, trust me, you are going to be EXTRA HUNGRY AND THIRSTY while breastfeeding. When I started breastfeeding and didn’t know how to comfortably support my baby (and my boobies) I looked for different options and ended up loving this nursing pillow over all the other ones because it offered extra support which meant I had at least 1 free hand to drink my water or eat my snacks lol.
Convenience: No bottles to prepare, no formula to buy—just you and your baby. Plus, it’s always the right temperature! But let’s be honest, it can still get a bit tricky at times.

The Not-So-Great: Challenges You Might Face:

It Can Hurt: Let’s get real—nursing can be painful at first. Cracked nipples, soreness, and even engorgement can make it tough. But hang in there! With the right latch and some good creams, it usually gets better, my saving grace were these gel pads that you can reuse, I just put them in the fridge and put them on after every feeding sesh and the relief was INSTANT! As per nipple creams, I looked for an organic, natural, cruelty free one that was effective and safe for me and baby, and after trying a few, I stayed with this unscented, Dermatologist-Teste and hypoallergenic balm, I love it so much that to this day I even use it when I get cracked lips, it works wonders!
Supply Issues: Some moms struggle with milk supply, whether it’s too much or too little. If you’re feeling anxious about it, know that you’re not alone. Stress can impact your supply, so find ways to relax and reach out for support when needed. This was one of the main reasons I almost gave it up, I did supplement with formula at the begining (and if that’s what you need to do to keep your baby healthy, that’s perfectly fine, that’s what formula was made for) but I wanted to breastfeed, I read a lot about breastfeeding supplements, recipes to increase supply and the main things that helped were:
- 1. Staying hydrated, water works, but if you want to maximixe hydration, Body armor worked really well for me, but anything with coconut water has the same effect because it has the right balance of electrolytes, and even alakaline water with electrolytes will do the trick
- 2 eating ENOUGH. You will literally need to eat enough to nurture 2 people, you can not be on a calory deficit or skip meals or “forget to eat” because your supply will suffer, I know it can be challenging to keep up with your own nutrition while you are trying to keep another human alivem but remember that you are important too, and your baby needs you, so, if you can, try to mealprep and freeze meals to have ready before you give birth, try a meal delivery service, have friends and family help you out with the cooking, and stack up on milk boosting snacks (anything low on sugar, oatmeal, nuts, hummus, crackers, fruit etc…)
- 3. Relaxing as much as possible: it is unbelievable how stress can lower to your supply, take a moment to identify and remove as many stress factors as you can (yes this includes people), set boundaries and ask for help if needed. Do not be afraid to stand your ground and clearly voice what you need or don’t need, at the end of the day, your baby depends on you, you are a mom now and you are your baby’s voice, people who truly love you and your baby, will do everything to se e you thrive, even if this includes giving you space.
- 4.Oatmeal in all its forms, eating oatmeal definitely helped with my supply, (i will dive deeper in all of this on another post and I will add my favorite recipes)
- Supplements: you need to be careful with all the marketed supplements you will encounter, not all are safe and some might even upset your or your baby’s belly, the ones that actually worked for me were Liquid Gold which is fenugreek free (but can get expensive since you could need a few bottles a month) or for a more affordable option Mommy’s Bliss works really well too and it has probiotics (mom’s healt is important too) It all depends on your preference and what works for you.
Time Commitment: Breastfeeding is a full-time job in itself! Newborns typically feed every 2-3 hours, which can feel overwhelming. It’s a lot of time spent cuddling, but it’s also okay to feel drained. Don’t hesitate to ask for help or take breaks when you need them.
Your body doesn’t belong to you: While you are breastfeeding, E V E R Y T H I N G that enters your body might (and most likely will) pass through your breastmilk to your baby, so you need to be really mindful of what you are eating, drinking, what supplements you can take and what skincare products you use, you will likely become an expert reading labels and google will become your best friend when trying to figure out if “X” or “Y” is safe while breastfeeding. You will also find that your boobs are changing.

Lesser-Known Facts You Might Appreciate

Cluster Feeding: Some days, it might feel like your baby is glued to you! Cluster feeding—when your baby feeds multiple times in a short period—is completely normal and often happens during growth spurts.
Your milk doesn’t come in immediately: This was NEWS FLASH to me, I was so frustrated because I had no milk for like the 1st week, but then I learned that your milk comes in slowly, you will first get a few drops of collostrum, a yellowish, thicker liquid that has EVERYTHING your baby needs for their first days of life, and then slowly it will get lighter and turn a watery white liquid, of which you will only get 1-2 ounces everytime you pump/feed that 1st week (which is all your baby needs) so don’t freak out, it will increase with time
Breastfeeding Isn’t Always Instinctual: Just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it comes naturally. It can take time to find the right positions and techniques, so be patient with yourself!
You Can Still Get Your Period: Yep, many moms experience a return of their menstrual cycle even while breastfeeding. It varies from person to person, so don’t be surprised if things don’t go as expected. I have used the Flo app to track my period even before getting pregnant and then to track my pregnancy and it helped a lot to understand what was happening inside my body.
Your Milk Changes Throughout the Day: The composition of breast milk can vary depending on the time of day. For instance, morning milk is often higher in protein, while evening milk may contain more fat, helping to satisfy your baby before bedtime.
Breast Milk Has a Shelf Life: Freshly pumped breast milk can last up to 4 hours at room temperature, 4 days in the refrigerator, and about 6 months in the freezer. But if you’re super organized, it can safely last up to 12 months in the freezer! The storage bags you choose can make a difference in the way you store and organize your stash, these are my favorite, I think these are the most sanitary ones because of their twist cap, they also have a whole feeding system that comes with adaptors for your pump so you can pump directly into the bag if you are planning on building a little freezer stash. (I will dive deeper into pumping on another post, stay tuned)
The Flavor of Your Diet Matters: What you eat can influence the flavor of your breast milk! If you consume a variety of foods, your baby might develop a taste for those flavors early on, which can help with their acceptance of solid foods later. Also, avoid taking any fish supplements if you are planning on freezing your milk because it might develop a sour smell/taste when thawed (it happened to me 🙁 )
Breastfeeding Can Affect Your Baby’s Gut Health: Breast milk contains prebiotics that promote the growth of healthy gut bacteria in your baby, potentially leading to better digestion and a stronger immune system.
Pumping Can Be a Learning Curve: Just like breastfeeding, pumping takes practice. It may take some time to find the right settings on your pump and to get used to the feeling. Don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t go perfectly right away! make sure you have the right size falange for your nipple because it makes all the difference in the world. Yes, all nipples are born different lol, this flange sizing kit was very helpful to me and it comes with all the possible size inserts you could need, also, here is a helpful article on how to measure your nipple and find the right size flange or insert for your pump.
Breastfeeding Isn’t Always 100% Natural: Even though breastfeeding is a natural process, some moms face challenges due to physical differences, medical conditions, or past trauma. It’s important to seek help and not feel guilty if it doesn’t come easily, and it it isn’t fpr you, that;s what formula was made for, your mental and physical health are just as important as your baby’s health, of breastfeeding is not possible for you, do not feel guilty or think that your baby wont thrive on formula, because they will, that’s what it was made for, and as for the bonding, I assure you there are many other ways to bond with your baby, skin to skin is a perfect example.
You Can Still Get Pregnant While Breastfeeding: It’s a common myth that breastfeeding prevents pregnancy. While it can delay your period, it’s still possible to conceive, so consider discussing birth control options with your healthcare provider.
Letdown Reflex Can Be Strong: Many moms experience a strong letdown reflex, which is the feeling of milk flowing out. This can sometimes be accompanied by tingling or discomfort. It’s a normal part of the process!
Beware of Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER): I didn’t know this was a thing, I had a very strong feeling of hopelessness and a deep sadness during the first few minutes of a breastfeeding session, I thought I was going crazy and it was only me, until I saw a tiktok that talked about this and I was flabbergasted, WHY nobody warned me about this? It went away after a few months but it was dreadful at the begining. I wish I had known about D-MER sooner.
Baby’s Latch Affects Your Milk Supply: A good latch is crucial for effective breastfeeding and maintaining your milk supply. If your baby isn’t latching well, it can lead to soreness and reduced milk production. There are lots of informational videos about the right latch and how to get it, but if you can, reach out to a lactation consultant to get professional advice, here is a list of resources for breastfeeding moms

The Support You Deserve

Remember, you’re not in this alone. Whether it’s joining a local breastfeeding support group, reaching out to a lactation consultant, or chatting with friends who have been through it, there are resources out there to help you. Also, consider investing in a good nursing pillow, breast pump, or comfortable nursing bras—trust me, they can make a world of difference!

Final Thoughts

Breastfeeding can be a rollercoaster of emotions, challenges, and beautiful moments. It’s completely normal to feel a mix of joy and frustration. Be kind to yourself, take it one feeding at a time, and know that every drop counts.

If you ever feel stuck or need advice, just remember: you’ve got this, and it’s okay to ask for help! You’re doing an incredible job, mama.

Happy feeding!

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